He then reveals: With the ingenious use of a nail file or

He then reveals: "With the ingenious use of a nail file or coin, one could open the inbound meal and have seconds." I'm trying to visualise how this worked. Can anyone explain, and supply either photographic evidence or a diagram?MICKEY MOUSE and his spouse could, according to the latest edition of USA Now, be making for Manhattan. Or at least that's what I infer from the assertion that the recently opened New York Convention and Visitors' Bureau in London "will help tour operators concentrating on MICE itineraries". I called the office (0171-437 8300) but couldn't get a squeak out of them about the meaning of MICE.IF BOOKS and arcane publications don't sound much like presents, how about this: free travel for you and your family, free insurance, and even the chance to bump fare-paying passengers off planes.Among the freebies that have crowded on to my desk this week, an insurance company offered me an annual travel policy.

This could be handy for journalists planning to take a whole family to Alton Towers Hotel ("the place your children will beg to visit") or travelling by train in France ("complimentary or discounted travel, in return for editorial").Then, halfway through some complex discussions about an important consumer issue, an airline PR suddenly said: "How do you fancy a week in Monserrat?" - something of a non sequitur because we were discussing the separation- out of passenger service charges at the time, rather than dream islands in the Caribbean.Strangest of all is the airline that wrote to travel editors offering free top-grade membership of its frequent-flyer club. I don't know whether to be more alarmed at the erroneous credit or the implication that our pages are hard to distinguish from a publication aimed at more mature travellers.DO YOU recall a short-lived experiment on the short-lived airline Dan- Air where meals for both outward and return flights were installed in the seatback trays? Neither do I, but it was alluded to this week in AITO News, a publication for members of the Association of Independent Tour Operators. A check failed to identify any such review - for the simple reason that it was not printed in this newspaper but in Saga Magazine. In the summer, Virgin is expected to resuscitate its city guide series. Only when a travel guide has been thoroughly tested will we venture a strong opinion on it; I think the last to benefit was Frewin Poffley's invaluable and hilarious Greek Island Hopping (and yes, Thomas Cook Publishing, you can quote us on that). This year promises to be quite a bruiser for travel guidebooks.

In a few weeks, AA Publishing will move into the independent travellers' market. This week, I propose to conduct a ramble through this week's postbag. First, you will know that good reviews in newspapers sell books. Visitors should not stray away from major urban areas or from established tourist routes and should be aware that even these can become dangerous, usually without warning. It is often safer to travel by air than to risk a road journey Road travel after dark is extremely dangerous. Visitors should consult the British Embassy in Bogota (tel 317 6690) and the local authorities before finalising their travel plans.".

THE THING about normal jobs is that people rarely send you presents. The thing about travel journalism is that people send you stuff all the time: books for review, copies of specialist journals and offers of free travel. It is therefore tremendously convenient to avoid being bitten by mosquitos. Consult a travel medicine specialist such as Masta (0891 224100) for up-to-date advice.Travel adviceThe Foreign Office issued this warning one month ago: "Violence and kidnapping are serious problems in urban Colombia. In rural areas there is a risk of being caught up in guerrilla or paramilitary attacks, or opportunistic kidnapping. The border area with Panama and the Uraba region of Antioquia are especially high risk, as are other areas outside government control. A strain of malaria resistant to chloroquine and paludrine has been reported.

And if you think that's bad, wait until you arrive back in Britain from Colombia.Medical careThe main threat is from mosquito-borne diseases. At present, Journey Latin America (0181-747 3108) has some excellent fares on the Colombian airline Avianca to a range of destinations.Red tapeBritish travellers do not require visas to visit either Colombia or Panama, although you can expect a comprehensive going-over from both sets of immigration officials. There must be some other way out of here, but it turns out to be to press on across one of the world's last great wildernesses - the Darien Gap.For the further adventures of Simon Calder, listen to BBC Radio 4 tomorrow at noon, for the first of three parts of the series `Bridging the Gap'Fact FileWhen to goDuring the dry season, between December and April - anyone seeking to make this trip at other times of the year will have a miserable time.Getting thereSimon Calder paid pounds 422 for a return flight from London to Bogota through South American Experience (0171-976 5511), and a further pounds 120 for flights onwards to Pereira, Medellin and Capurgana. It turns out to be the afternoon flight from Medellin making the usual approach.